Marriage - A Kids POV

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
-- Alan, age 10

No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with...
-- Kristen, age 10

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
-- Camille, age 10

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
-- Derrick, age 8

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don't want any more kids.
-- Lori, age 8

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough...
-- Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure? )

On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
-- Martin, age 10 (isn't he ready for the world of dating?)

WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?
I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
-- Craig, age 9

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
When they're rich.
-- Pam, age 7

The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.
-- Curt, age 7

The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them... It's the right thing to do.
-- Howard, age 8

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys.. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
-- Anita, age 9 (bless you child)

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
-- Kelvin, age 8 (I like this kid)

And the #1 Favorite is ....

HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.
-- Ricky, age 10 (He'll be married forever )

The Same Question All The Time

A lot of people have asked me how things are going now that The Rose and I have moved in together. It is a fair question. But to be honest, I am not sure how to really answer it. What did people expect to happen? Should I have experienced some sort of magical transformation as I unpacked my final box?

"Wow, living together is like being at Disneyland...all the time!"

Well, actually that probably wouldn't be a good analogy. Sure at Disneyland the rides are fun, but there are also long lines, screaming kids and bad food. And here so far...well, the rides have been great, there is never a line (we have two bathrooms), we only have to deal with screaming kids at 2 AM when the drunks are coming off the metro and the food, well the food has been fantastic (I have always loved Italian). So I guess basically, living together has been better than being at Disneyland.

Does that answer the question?

Moved Again

That’s right I have moved again. This time I did not move across the country or even to Europe. I only moved about 15 miles north of my current address. Many of you have asked and here it is...the big news between The Rose and I is we decided to move in together. We made the decision a few weeks ago and have since moved all my personal things into her condo. Although I definitely believe my condo is in the better neighborhood, we decided to move into her place because it is bigger.

We have been living together full time for a few weeks now. I don’t care how long you date someone or how many days a week you spend together, living together is a whole new animal. So far things have gone well, but I am sure that I am not the only one having to adjust to this new living arrangement.

The short term plan is to rent my place -- furnished. We have had it up for rent for a few weeks but have only had a few calls. It is a bad time to try to rent a place, but hopefully we will find someone soon. I put up a web site about my place in case you know someone who might be interested.

Long term, who knows what we will do, but for right now life is good. So if you are looking for me, you can find me in North Bethesda.

Have a great holiday weekend.

All Hail The Chair

I volunteered to join one of the committees that were formed in my condo association. This is actually a pretty big deal as I never volunteer for anything. I learned my lesson when I was young. I volunteered when I was 17 and the next thing I knew I was in the Navy for six years. I haven’t raised my hand since.

The condo board formed four committees - social, communications, facilities and budget. Guess which one I joined. No not the social committee, I don’t like people that much. I joined the communications committee. We are chartered with setting up a newsletter, web site and generally communications process for the building. We had our first meeting last night and although there is a lot of work involved, the group seems very sharp and we should have some fun. Oh, and they elected me as the Chair of the Communications committee.

The Rose and I are going to a vodka and caviar tasting tonight at Morton’s Steakhouse. Morton’s is having these tastings across the country in the month of March. I am not really sure what to expect, but since The Rose likes caviar and I like vodka, it seems like a good fit.

Speaking of The Rose, here is a photo of us in Myrtle a few weeks ago. I love it when the beach is deserted. No crowds, just the two of us, a few surfers and some birds…what could be better.

Myrtle Beach 2008

The picture used in this post was not doctored or altered in any way. She is that beautiful and I look that bad. What can I say, the generosity of some women never ceases to amaze me.

No, No Girls, I Am Taken

So last night for Valentine's Day, I had The Rose over for, wait for it, left over pizza and chili. You all wish you were dating me right now, don't you?

We are actually walking out the door as we are heading to Myrtle Beach. We rented a condo for the weekend. My first time down there. Should be fun.

What Does Your Heart Say?

I got this from the Washington Post last weekend and decided to fill it out and share with the rest of you. You just have to complete the sentence.

• Your first love…usually happens when you are too young to appreciate or understand it. Your first love should be unconditional, like the love of the puppy you got when you were eight and not the pimple faced kid you dated in high school.
• Love at first site…happens the first time you open your eyes and see you mother. Let’s face it, the rest of the time it is LUST at first site. You can’t love someone until you get to know them.
• After a breakup, never…forget the reasons things didn’t work out. We all see past relationships through rose colored glasses. Remember that there were cracks in the lenses when you were together.
• The best part…of meeting someone new is all the uncertainty around getting to know them. Love is a mystery that we all want to be a part of.
• The longer you are with someone…the easier it is to take them for granted. You have to work at relationships, especially as more time passes.
• They say you know when you know. I think that’s…crazy. You THINK you know when you know, you can never really know. Nothing is certain in this world.
• Fairy tales tend to leave out the part…that’s real, that’s why they are fairy tails. There is a lot of unhappy that has to be dealt with in order to have a happy ending.
• You can never predict…what life has in store for the two of you. Be patient, be caring and most important be in it together.
• I wish I’d known when I was 19 that…women are auditory, I’m allergic to pets, Microsoft stock would be worth so much, the difference between love and sex, and many, many other things.
• When it comes to relationships, people tend to underestimate…how long forever really is. It takes more than love to make a relationship last forever.
• When things get really bad…remember that a bad settlement is better than a good win in court. If it has to end, then end it without lawyers. Remember that you loved each other once.
• The most romantic…gestures should happen more than on holidays. Gestures aren’t romantic on holidays, they are expected. Romance should never be expected, it should be a surprise.
• Heartache is…the beginning of the healing process. Use that time for reflection and try to learn from your mistakes. Heal and then move on.
• Valentine’s Day…is a really good excuse to stay home and enjoy a night in together.
• It’s time to call it quits when…it’s over. Don’t give up to easily, but learn when to walk away. Don’t wake up five years later wondering what the hell you are doing here.
• In the end, what’s most important is…that life is about the journey and not the destination. Life is long and we always have time to start over.

How would you finish these sentences?

How Many Can You Find?

Let’s play a game. How about you tell me all the differences you can find in my living room after this weekend. I have attached the before and after pictures. I will tell you that this is just the start of the changes to this wall. More will come over the next few weeks, but I think this is a good start.

What's Different

And for an update on The Rose front…she asked me this weekend if I wanted to come to her parent’s house to watch the Super Bowl next weekend. I think this is a big step for her to introduce me to her family. Her family is from Massachusetts, so there will be a lot of Patriot fans watching the game. It will be a bit strange for me as I actually find myself rooting for the Giants this year. Not that I am a Giants fan, but I am not sure anyone outside of New England can rightfully root for The Evil Empire right now. The Patriots are starting to fill the roll of the Cowboys from a few decades a go – the team you love to hate.

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I sort of preferred it when the people from Boston spent them time wallowing in self pity and talking about curses. Don’t get me wrong, I was very tired of them playing the Glum character in Gulliver’s Travels, but I have come to realize that they are much more tolerable as the loveable losers than they are gracious as the winners. I can’t imagine how bad it will be if the Celtics with the NBA tile this year. How will we live with them then?

So it will be me and a bunch of Patriot fans for the Super Bowl. I am about to find out how K felt back in 1990 when we watched the NFC Championship game between the NY Giants and the San Francisco 49ers at my parent’s house, with many 49er fans and absolutely no Giants fans.

You might remember the game as it is maybe the best NFC Championship game in history. The Giants won 15-13, mainly due to a Roger Craig fumble late in the fourth quarter. Craig was one of the greatest backs in 49er history, but unfortunately he is mainly known for this fumble.

Now K is a lifetime Giants fan and to his credit he was very quiet and polite the entire game. And it wasn’t until after the Giants won and as my mom was walking around the house ranting - “WE WILL NOT BE WATCHING THE SUPER BOWL IN THIS HOUSE!” - that K finally got up from his chair, while no one but me could see, and did his quiet victory dance. It was quite funny. I don’t think the Giants will be pulling off the miracle upset next weekend, but if they do, I will save my victory dance until after we leave.

Blue = Nice

So I thought I would share with you a little bit of the IM conversation that The Rose and I had today.

The Rose: I haven’t really dated anyone like you before.
Blue944: Like me?
Blue944: you mean human?
Blue944: good looking?
Blue944: funny?
The Rose: I feel like I have more of an edge than you do
The Rose: Like you may be too nice for me....

OK, I will wait for those of you that know me to get up off the floor and stop laughing. I don’t think anyone has ever accused me of being too nice. No one has ever even accused me of being nice. Especially not the nephew that refers to me as Mean Uncle Bill or the Seabee who threatened to kick my ass if he ever saw me again. How about the guy at the Christmas party this year who took offense to the way I was playing pool. The Christmas season seems to affect us all differently.

I guess if you polled all of my friends, most of them would say that I was a nice guy, that you can count on me to be there to help, but that I can pick on someone incessantly. Maybe I just haven’t picked on The Rose enough for her to see my not so nice side. I guess we aren’t in that place as described by Becky about her relationship.

“One thing I really like about our status is that we're over that initial dating hump in terms of figuring out what you like/don't like, being on your somewhat best behavior (like trying to not burp), having friends that don't quite realize that you're a real couple to think about inviting you both out. Now, I feel like we're truly ourselves, for the good and the bad, and it's quite...comfortable (in a good way).”

I don’t necessarily feel as though I have been on my best behavior, but maybe…I will say that I definitely don’t think that we are “truly ourselves” as Becky put it. But then again Becky just passed the one year dating mark and we are on about the sixth week. I am sure that our comfort level will increase as we spend more time together.

At the end of the day, I am not sure that successful relationships come down to being nice or not. All of us are nice and all of us have the capacity to be mean or even mean spirited. I think relationships are still about accepting people for who they are, enjoying the positive attributes and handling their negative ones.

Come to think of it, maybe she has just never dated someone who is so deep, thoughtful, introspective, and you know, humble.

A December Miracle

So you are probably not going to believe this, but I have met someone lately that I am enjoying getting to know. We met online, which apparently is the only way to meet people these days. I actually saw a stat that 1 out of 5 weddings last year were between people who met online. I find that amazing that 20% of the weddings today are between online daters.

Anyway, back to my budding relationship. It started out like most Internet relationships, an email or five, some instant messages, a planned date and finally a phone call. It wasn’t you usual first phone call in that it lasted over an hour and I think afterwards we were both excited to be meeting in person later that week.

With most of the people I have met online, I knew in the first 10 minutes that we didn’t have that elusive chemistry. That definitely was not the case with her. Despite the fact that I was late to meet her (never happens), after the first ten minutes, all I wanted was another ten minutes. We met for drinks and decided to extend that to dinner. We have been out about 8 times now and even as I write this post, I am still looking forward to seeing her later today.

So you might ask what is so special about her. I don’t think it is easy to explain the chemistry between people, but I can tell you that I like her sassiness. She is also smart and very sexy. She is chatty, but also quiet at all the right times. She has energy to spare and is very passionate. It also helps that she is beautiful.

So your next question is what she sees in me. I REALLY DON”T KNOW. However she does seem to also enjoy my company as well. It is still early, but I can tell you that I am enjoying the feelings involved with being at the start of a possible relationship.

Profile - Part Three

If there is one area that I think they totally missed, it is likely this one. Although I can be emotional at times, I do not think this describes me much at all. Those of you that know me are encouraged to chime in here, but in my mind, this is really not a good description of me.

Introduction to Emotional Stability

We're born with the capacity to feel deeply, so it's as natural as breathing to experience a range of emotions. Fear and joy and sadness, anger and shame and disgust lie somewhere within each of us. Ah, but to what extent do we control these emotions, and to what extent do they control us? How you answer this question of how your emotions play out in your life has a great deal to do with your levels of personal satisfaction and with the character of your relationships with others. Do you manage your emotions well, keeping them in check with your thinking and your willpower, or are you someone who lets emotions have their way, giving in to the wild dance of feelings? The following paragraphs describe your emotional range in terms of being a person who is emotionally steady or someone who is responsive to whatever feelings swell up in you.

On Emotional Stability you are:

RESPONSIVE

Words that describe you:

• Open (I think I appear open, but am not)
• Accessible (definitely)
• Too Sensitive (I think those that have been involved with me would disagree)
• Reachable (on the surface maybe)
• Candid (definitely)
• Unguarded (not a chance)

A General Description of Your Reactivity

You are an emotional person. In some ways, we are all emotional; we feel joy, anger, sadness and fear; some of us more powerfully than others - and you more powerfully than most. Your emotions are closer to the surface, and your feelings more obvious to you than is the case with most people. You've got your life in a good place, your dominant mood is upbeat, and unless life has been particularly trying for you, you greatly enjoy the richness and intensity of life that being so open with your emotions brings you. (I think my emotions may be more at the surface, but I am in much more control of them than this implies. I am also not open with my emotions.)

Sure there are times when your feelings come very close to the surface, and life becomes more complicated. At these times you may grow self-conscious, or feel a bit anxious. But all in all, you much prefer being open with your emotions, breathing in all that life offers, than shutting down any part of your emotional experience. Granted, there may be times when these emotions are hard but you realize that is part of life. And more often than not you feel enriched by your emotions, by your ability to be open to all that life brings you. You know that even when you have those times that get you down, there will be even more times when you see life in ways that others just can't. (I think I do avoid the hard emotions, at least until I have to deal with them and then I am more pragmatic about it.)

Negative Reactions Others May Have Toward You

Undoubtedly you have met some people who get uncomfortable being around you because your feelings are so close to the surface. They may keep a bit of distance, especially around any subject that might trigger an emotional topic they are uncomfortable with. Over time, they might even stay away from you more and more. You will find you have decisions to make; do you temper your style for their comfort or do you hope they will find ways to become more comfortable with emotional expressions? Given the richness that seems to stem from your emotional life the most meaningful response is probably very apparent to you.

Positive Responses Others May Have Toward You

You are a cherished companion for those friends who can handle emotions well. They will appreciate the candor with which you express even difficult feelings like anger and fear. Your openness will make intimate conversations even more intimate, and make the connections between you as friends deeper and stronger. Some people who have trouble expressing their feelings might find in you a good example of how to be more vulnerable and more open. Your willingness and ability to share your emotions could encourage them to share theirs, and invite them into ways of being friends that will help enrich their lives.

Well, they couldn't get everything right.

An offer I couldn’t refuse…

I have a couple of interesting pieces of news.

The first and the more important news is that K&T have asked me to be Sam’s Godfather. I accepted, of course, and I am extremely excited. I don’t know much about being a Godfather - like are you supposed to capitalize Godfather? My family is not very religious and this is one ceremony that I have not had to attend for any of my nieces and nephews. I am not really sure what to expect, but I am hoping that there is no animal sacrifice involved and that they won’t require any of my blood.

I know that at one time, being godfather meant that you were responsible for that child should something happen to her parents. I think that is a little more relaxed these days, but I am sure that I will forever feel responsible to make sure that she knows she has someone besides her parents that will always be there for her. Besides, this will be my chance to make sure she doesn’t end up to much like her parents as they are a mess.

For now I am just excited that I will get to make her enemies an offer that they can’t refuse or have her ex boyfriends whacked…I do get to do all those things, right?

Ah, and for the second piece of news, I finally went on a date with someone that I really want to see again. As a matter of fact, I am seeing her today – second time in three days. I am not getting ahead of myself, but it is nice to know that there is someone out there that I am interested in, well, that might also be interested in me. I was seriously beginning to wonder.

That’s it for now. Remember always leave the gun, take the cannoli.

Profile Part Two

Introduction to Openness

How firmly committed are you to the ideas and beliefs that govern your thinking and guide your behavior? Some people trust their current ideas and beliefs the way a climber trusts the mountain; whichever way they move, whether the climb is on a familiar trail or over new ground, there is something solid beneath them, something they count on.

For others, new ideas, new solutions to old problems, new beliefs that replace tired convictions are like welcome wind in their sails. They can hardly wait to tack in a new direction and ride a new idea through uncharted waters. If it's new, it's interesting, and they're ready to explore.

The following paragraphs describe your responses to new ways of thinking and believing. How do you handle new information? Are you more like the climber on a familiar mountain or a sailor with a tiller in hand and a fresh breeze to propel you? How you integrate and process new information about the world and about others is a core aspect of your personality.

On the Openness Dimension you are:

CURIOUS

Words that describe you:

• Original
• Inventive
• Thinker
• Brave
• Eccentric
• Avant-Garde
• Out-of-Touch
• Unique

A General Description of How You Approach New Information and Experiences

You think like an artist. Or better, you SEE like an artist. While most people look at life's straight lines, its height and depth and width, you're bending the lines with your imagination and turning black and white into shades of blue and yellow. And in conversations at work or with your friends you want to ask, "Do you see what I see?" A few might, most don't, but you've piqued everyone's curiosity with your own original and inventive ways of thinking.

You can, if you must, think in conventional ways. But left on your own, you'll usually opt for the eccentric or avant-garde; in fact you're usually bored with what everyone else is comfortable with. You learn from reading, talking, watching people and other fauna and flora, and simply sitting in the soft chair of your mind and wondering how people would learn how to count if they could only use uneven numbers. You are out in front of conventional ideas, bravely originally defining true and false, right and wrong, the good, the bad and the ugly.

Negative Reactions Others May Have Toward Your Style of Thinking

You drive through life faster than the speed limit, and when you hit speed bumps, and you hit a lot of them with your mind distracted from the straight line ahead your wheels leave the ground.

For people who like life at a safer speed, you move too fast and lose touch too often with the solid ground they prefer, hence their discomfort with you. As odd as you might find this, many people feel safe in the shelter of the world they already know. They like the familiar. They breathe easily and sleep deeply knowing with more certainty how the world works. So although they might enjoy your company and be curious about your latest notion of how to count backwards by threes, they can only take you in small doses. And they wish you'd quit trying to push the boundaries of their personal and social cosmos.

This is actually one of those fundamental differences that my ex and I had. She liked her life to be safe and predictable and I preferred the unknown.

Positive Responses Others May Have Toward You

Even those whom you make uncomfortable know, as just about everyone does, that you're not a flake. You think well, and even your wildest fancies have their roots in the deep soil of sound ideas and tested beliefs. So even if some people don't want to drive at high speed with you, they will respect you for your courage as an innovative and unconventional thinker. You lend color and imagination to what would otherwise be the straight black and white lines of their work world and social environments.

A few more daring people of your circle might even learn from you to take a risk they would otherwise never consider. As comfortable as they are on solid ground, they may be curious about what it would be like to go faster than the speed limit, or paint the living room two shades of blue, or question ideas or beliefs they've fingered like sacred beads since they were children.
After all, they watch you do it, and you seem no worse for the risks you take. In fact, your eyes are wider and your breath quicker, and maybe they can find at least a bit of this for themselves. To be certain, they don't want their wheels to leave the ground, but maybe the next time they approach a speed bump they might just brace themselves and speed up just a little bit.

I believe that this way of thinking has always served me well in my business life. I also think it is one of the limiting factors in finding the right woman. Finding someone who is grounded enough to keep me somewhat on the ground, but open enough to allow me to breath has always been difficult.

Overall, I would say this is also spot on in describing me. So far eHarmony is really showing me there is something to their method.

Profile Part One

As I mentioned before, I signed back up on eHarmony. I did not just reactivate my old account, I actually started from scratch. I answered all of their questions and filled out their forms. From these many questions, they gave me a personal profile. I thought I might share some of it with you and my thoughts.

The first section of the profile I received is about Agreeableness, which describes your interactions with other people. I was best described as:

USUALLY TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF

When I read this initially, I thought they really have no idea what they are talking about. Then I read on.

Words that describe me:

• Perceptive
• Realistic
• Demanding
• Down-to-Earth
• Hardnosed
• Judgmental
• Pragmatic
• Skeptical
  

Alright these words might be closer to describing me, except maybe judgemental, so I read on.

A General Description of How I Interact with Others

You are clearly a compassionate person; you believe that you should do unto others as you would have them do unto you, and you know that friends help their friends. But with you compassion is just one side of the coin; the other being a side that also expects others to hold up their end of the bargain. So you help others but it is with the expectation that others don't take advantage of you or try to put one over on you. In short, you expect others to treat you as you treat them.

And for those people who do ask for help when they should have taken responsibility for themselves? This is the time when your more hard-edged side comes out. You are skeptical of people when they expect others to bail them out of trouble; if they got themselves into the bind, they should work their way out of the trouble. If it's an emergency, or if it's a friend who has been there for you when you have had hard times, you are there in a quick minute. But you are a discerning person and to you there is a big difference between an emergency and a self-inflicted wound. You just look at the facts: how the situation developed, how serious the situation, and how they can or cannot get through things on their own. The history you have with the person and with similar situations will inform you whether this is or is not a time for you to get involved.

You also have some limits when it comes to being with people. Sure some people need to be with others all the time and seem to get recharged by helping out most anyone else. But that's not you. You know that you do best if you spend a fair amount of time on your own. Not that you are a loner, just that time spent by yourself is not wasted at all with you. You've come to understand that if you don't take good care of yourself, eventually you'll be not good to anyone, including yourself or others.

So your compassion is tempered by realism. Your sympathy for people in trouble is balanced by a critical evaluation of how they got themselves to the place they are. And you've learned to take good care of yourself, so you have something to give to your friends or others truly in need.

OK, they nailed it. This really does describe me to a tee. A little scary.

Negative Reactions Others May Have Toward You

Some people may see your practical style as lacking compassion. When your compassion is tempered, as it is at times by your discerning questions and careful consideration, it may seem to some like you have too much head and too little heart. And when you use time and energy to take care of yourself there will inevitably be some who see you as selfish and uncaring. But your approach is neither heady nor selfish. It is you. And unless your approach is causing you consistent problems in important relationships, there is really no reason to change. Your distinctive manner of having clear expectations for the relationships in which you will exert your energy is true to the core of you.

Positive Responses Others May Have Toward You

The truth is that most people respect someone who knows themselves and what they want. So even if some people don't get exactly what they want from you often they will leave with a deeper respect for you. Your frank and honest approach may help someone to help themselves when they didn't think this was possible, and they wind up better off: they're out of trouble, they did it on their own, and they have you to thank. And you were, again, true to yourself.

OK, so maybe there is something to their method. I am happy that the explanation doesn't sound near as bad as "Usually Taking Care of Yourself" does. At least it doesn't to me.

I am reminded of something I heard years ago. People who come from poverty and make it rich are less likely to be sympathetic toward people in poverty than someone who is born into privilege. This seemed backwards to me at the time, but the person who elevates themselves from tougher beginnings, tends to think that if they did it, then everyone should be able to as well. Not that I was ever really poor, well except for those first few months in Chicago with D, but I think the same principle applies to taking care of yourself. I have always felt that we are responsible for our own decisions and that we need to be able to take care of ourselves and not rely on other to do it for us.

There are four other sections in the personal profile. I will try to share them with you guys later.

No Walk In The Woods For Me

I know I haven’t written much lately, but I wanted to post a quick note to say that everything is going well. I am in a new role at my company and that is keeping me very busy, but in a good way. I am learning more about our business and I am getting the chance to create a new product pretty much from the ground up.

I also signed back up on eHarmony a few weeks ago. I am not sure why I did it to be honest, but since I did, I thought I would at least try to follow through with the painful communication process they have. Unfortunately they have sent me about 75 matches so far and the process is killing me. Couldn’t one of you just volunteer to be my girlfriend for a while so I can quit trying to appear as though I am looking for my soul mate? More on this later.

I also wanted to post a picture from Thanksgiving. This is me with Baby Sam. At least one of us looks good.

Baby Sam and Uncle Blue

We had a nice Thanksgiving up at K’s parent’s house. I have known them a long time and they have always been great to me. They moved to the middle of nowhere, somewhere in PA., a few years ago and this was my first trip to their new house. It is a bit of a scary drive as for about 30 miles you are on a road with forest on both sides of you that reminded me of the place they took Adriana to kill her on the Sopranos. I wouldn’t suggest wandering around in those woods, no telling what you might find.

I am looking for suggestions for a good Christmas vacation. I have taken no real time off this year and right now I am thinking of finding someplace where they have a beach, golf course and someone to bring me drinks all day. Any suggestions? Want to go?

A Rave Review for Blue

I was visiting some old site this week and I ran across a post from one of the girls I met on Match this year. We dated a few times, but in the end there was really no connection between us. Her latest post is a scathing review of the last three guys that she met online and the sheer stupidity of men in the dating world. I was surprised to find this toward the end of her post:

"I would like to say, though, that not all of my meetings/dates have been like this. I have met some very nice people with whom I still talk, email, and see. I think the best date I have had, while using Match, was with Blue: we went to the Hirshorn Museum, walked around the National Mall, the National Gallery of Art, then had tapas and Spanish wine at a funky restaurant in Arlington. It is funny that the positive experiences do not warrant quotes as much as the shocking negative."

So there you have it – Blue gets a rave review. I would be proud of this, except having read about the last three guys she met through Match, I don’t think it took much to be on the top of that list. It is nice to know that I am not being lumped into the pile of Internet dating losers.

Kansas...Really?

Who knew that the most beautiful woman in the world lives in Overland Park. In Kansas no less. I mean I would never have thought to look there. I pretty much stay away from the Midwest as a general rule, but I had to go there for business and there she was. A woman has not totally enchanted me that way in a long time. I can't say for sure that she is one of the 13 in 3 billion, but who knows. At least it is a good reason to go to Kansas and that is a very rare thing.

Timing

They say timing in life is everything. I am not sure who "they" are, but I have always considered myself as someone who has good timing. I could always hit a baseball, which most people consider to be one of the hardest things in sports to do. And anyone who has played golf with me the last ten years can attest that my swing has perfect timing. I got out of the military 30 days before Dessert Storm began. My last few jobs have come just at the perfect time, either just as one job ended or as I wanted to leave. I happened to look at a condo the exact day that a unit just like I wanted came back on the market. I always seem to be at the right place at the right time.

I have noticed lately that there is one aspect of my life where my timing has been and still is absolutely horrible. You guessed it, my love life. Things that happen in my life seem to work directly against my love life. Here are a few of my latest examples.

I had a chance a few months ago to be set up on a blind date in NYC. At the last minute she had to change her plans. Of course I still went to the city because I love NY. I recently got to spend some time with that person and found her to be fascinating. We have a lot in common and I could see she and I exploring a relationship. Guess what, a few weeks after we would have met, she met someone else and is now dating him.

I met another girl a year ago, but we lived in different states and dating didn't seem practical. About a month after I agreed to move to DC for a new job, her company transferred her to about 20 miles from my old place in CA. We are still close friends, but now we live even farther apart than before. Guess what, she is now dating someone so even if I was willing to try a long distance thing, the timing isn't right.

This poor timing is not new to my love life. Those of you that read through the three part post of the hardest 5 years of my life, know that I have always been afflicted with poor timing in love.

I am sure that this post is beginning to sound like a pitty me post, but it really isn't. I believe we have to examine our lives and try to understand what and why things happen in order to grow. Only by understanding the patterns of your life, can you hope to change those patterns.

Of course I don't know how you fix poor timing in love. It is not like there is some kind of exercise I can do to improve my love to life coordination.

I am still the eternal optimist about love, mainly out of necessity, as the odds are so stacked against me that only optimism keeps me from a prescription of happy pills.

Who knows maybe all that bad timing is leading up to one perfect moment in my life. Maybe fate has something special in mind for me. Maybe I will just bump into my soul mate on the street one day or she will sit down next to me on a plane...are you listening to me fate? Any time now would be great.

Just Some Tidbits

I have another one of those weekend to weekend business trips going next week. I am leaving for Florida on Saturday morning, even though I don’t have to be there until Monday. I figured I would take advantage of the sunshine. Of course it is supposed to be beautiful here this weekend as well. I spend the week in Orlando and then come home on Thursday night. I am then driving up to Atlantic City on Saturday morning for the weekend. It is a really late celebration of my buddy’s 40th birthday. I have never been to AC so this should be a treat. It is also the first time I get to see KP and TS since they got pregnant. Well he isn’t pregnant, although he sort of looks like it. KP, it is really too early to have these sympathy pregnancy issues. Yes I will be Uncle Blue in October.

So, it will be a long weekend and week next week. I really need to go someplace and do nothing but sit on the beach and drink Rum Runners and just unwind. Maybe this summer.

I have a meeting set up in Florida to discuss one of the job opportunities I am working on in Europe. I am not expecting the best news, but I need to know where I stand. I have to try and touch base with the other job opportunity as well. I need to make some serious moving decisions. Stay where I am, move further east, or move to Europe. Those are not in order of preference.

On a different note, I am a firm believer that men and women can truly be friends. I have a number of female friends that I have never had a physical relationship with. I am generally very comfortable with this type of arrangement. However, I am the first to admit that sometimes there are other feelings involved. I think I am getting into one of those situations. I like someone and I have no earthly reason to believe that anything will ever come of it other than a great friendship. But she is the one person out here that I truly look forward to seeing all the time. Right now I am just enjoying her company…especially considering I am really hoping to move to Europe by summer.

Oh and definitely not least important is the brunch update. As always, I love meeting with my blogger buddies. It is always a joy to see them, pick on them, and just basically laugh with them. Brunch was incredibly fun and we need to do it a little more than semi annually. Wait…

**Phone Rings**
“Hello, oh, Hipchick it’s you. Wow, what a surprise, you never call me?”

Don’t worry, about 5 people who read that will laugh for the rest of you…you had to be there.

Thanks to Lily last week for running the guess who wrote this post game as well. Mine was posted on Scaramouche Jones site. He is a great read if you don’t ever get over there. I moved mine to My Writings page.

Valentine's Day?

I did not even realize it was Valentine's Day until I got on the metro and saw a man carrying roses. Then it hit me what day it was. This day has not been that important to me for the last few years. I have had no reason to buy flowers or candy. Well I buy candy, but only because I like it.

I have to admit that I do not really believe in the structured romantic gesture. Romance seems like something that you should do because you want to, not because a the greeting card companies tell you to. I mean, how romantic can it be if you are told to do it. I guess the holiday does serve a purpose...it reminds us that we should show the people that matter we love them. But we should do that every day.

For you guys out there, I hope you already got your sweetie something nice. For all you gals out there, I hope you plan on rewarding those guys. For those of us that are just bitter and alone, there is always alcohol to ease the pain. Drink up!

Happy Valentine's Day!

Temptation By Moonlight

Sometimes when I close my eyes, I still see her silhouette in the moonlight. I see the curve of her hip as she lay with her back to me in that outfit that was definitely designed with temptation in mind. It is a great memory, but one that evokes many questions in my mind.

We were friends, but I am not sure any man could resist those form fitting panties and that small top. Why would she wear this outfit to my bed? Couldn’t she throw on an oversize t-shirt so that I couldn’t see the perfect curve of her body. So that I couldn't see how the moonlight made her skin glow. So that I wouldn't feel like reaching out and grabbing her. Was this some kind of cosmic test? Or simply her way to test our friendship? Or does she truly not realize the affect she can have on a man? Well, nothing happened. But to be honest, I am not sure if I passed or failed the test.

I think about that night when the moon shines just right into my room. I wonder if I had acted, what would have happened. Would our relationship be different today? Would we still be friends? Would we be more than friends? Maybe this is all part of my own personal cosmic test. I wonder how I am doing.