Tales from New Years Eve...

I got a last minute invite to a big function at City Hall in San Francisco from my boy E. E was supposed to go with his girlfriend, but they broke up about a week ago. I had no real plans and decided why not? Now I should have asked a few more questions about it before I agreed to go.

First off it was a formal, black tie optional, affair. Not that I am opposed to getting dressed up, but being formal could mean that it would be a bit stuffy. Well, that wasn’t the case. The second thing was that this was the Asian New Years Eve party. Now this made sense for E and his ex, as she is Asian. But for two white boys, this could be a problem. The party didn’t start until 9:30 so we decided to warm up at a bar near his apartment in the city. We got to City Hall around 10:30 and had to stand in line for a while to get in. I did see a few other caucasian people in line, you know, like two. Once we got through the line and metal detectors, I realized that there were about 2000 people at this party. I will not bore you with the details, instead here are a few observations and lessons I learned.

1. First and foremost, I am not attracted to the majority of Asian women. I know this because there were a thousand women at the party and I was attracted to like six of them. Maybe it was the fact that most of them weigh 87 pounds and are built like a ten year old boy. I mean seriously, these are the women who shop at “bebe” and complain because the clothes are baggy.
2. For E, this was right in his wheelhouse. I think the last five girls he has dated were Asian and the last one did not even weight 87 pounds. I am not saying that he likes ten year old boys, but he prefers women who have curve (no I did not forget the “s” in curves, these women only had one curve so it would be “curve”).
3. When you go to a big function like this, bring your own alcohol or drink a lot before you get there. It takes a half an hour to get a drink so you are going to sober up while you are there anyway.
4. I never saw so many LITTLE black dresses in my life. I mean little like a size 2 that was taken in so it would fit tight and show off the curve. And for those that chose to wear something else, wow, that was a bad choice.
5. I need to learn to tell the difference between the Asian races better. That way, the next time some guy comes up to me and says, “Man, there are a lot of slutty Chinese girls here,” I will know which girls to approach.
6. I did not need to worry about E and I getting separated as I could see over most of the crowd. OK, cheap shot, but also very true.
7. New Years Eve is not a holiday for single people. You are not going to meet someone on New Years, they already have dates.
8. There were a lot of cops outside City Hall right after midnight. It looked like they were going to break up the party or were expecting trouble. We didn’t stick around as we went to look for a place where you could get more than one drink a night.
9. It is impossible to get a cab in the city on New Years Eve. We ended up walking all the way back to E’s neighborhood. At least it wasn’t raining.
10. Buzz kill hill is way to steep.
11. Kissing perfect strangers on New Years Eve is fun. So are tequila shots.
12. Staying up until 7:00 AM talking and drinking makes for a long New Years Day.

Much more happened that night, but nothing I need to tell you guys about. It was a pretty good night, no where near as fun as the year we crashed the New Years Eve party in Phoenix, but that is a different story. Hope you all had a safe and happy New Years. And now it is time to start 2006, or at least go to work.