New Years Resolutions...

I have never been much for the whole New Years resolution thing. But after reading the great resolutions on Lighting Bug’s Butt site, I though this might be a good idea. If you have not read his, well then you should go over and do it right now. He is still the funniest guy on the web. I personally love 2, 4 8 and 9 on his list as well as his last year’s resolution to get to know his penis on a deeper level, something all men should try to do.

I am sure my resolutions will not be as clever and well thought out as his, but here goes.

1. Go through with the Detox in a Box program. This sounds easy, but the program makes you stop intaking alcohol, caffeine, sugar and most foods that taste good. You are supposed to remove all the toxins we take in from our everyday diet. You live on supplements, water, brown rice, steamed vegetables and steamed fish. It doesn’t sound like fun, but apparently it is really good for you. If you are interested in learning more about this or are just masochistic, look up Detox in a Box on Amazon.
2. Answer more personal ads. Ok, what I really mean is try dating again. Sooner or later I will have to put myself out there and stop hiding. Although hiding has its appeals. I am not sure I am ready, but if I wait until I am ready, I might be dating from the old folks home. Which could be cool as I wouldn’t have to worry about long term relationships, I mean how long can those old ladies live really?
3. Take saxophone lessons. I have the instrument, now it is time to learn how to play it. I think private lessons would be best as I can’t imagine learning on my own or in group sessions. You never know, I may get good enough to be one of those guys playing in the Bart stations. Make sure you tip me, I will need it.
4. That brings me to my next resolution, get a new job. I like my work, but the merger is going to reduce my income by one third and how can I be expected to live on that? There has to be someone out there who will pay me lots to do very little.
5. Finish my story. No not the story I endeavor to create and document on this site. The story I started this month that has been rolling around in my head for more than a few months. Writing it will be a big task and it is my most important resolution this year, so chances are I won’t finish it.
6. Plan and go on a vacation to Europe with my son. He is turning 21 this year and I want to take him overseas. I am thinking the Greek Islands, but we will see. I need to go somewhere in the Med as I have been told that most of the 3% of the population I find attractive live there. I am just hoping it doesn’t turn out to be a Greek man named Marco.
7. Watch more TV, drink more alcohol, eat lots of desserts and spend all my money. I figured I should put something on the list that I might actually do.

By the way, I now have a New Years date. Sure she is over 3000 miles away so the kiss at midnight will be tough, but you know you have to start somewhere. Happy New Year to you all.