Lunch at Hooters

I was cleaning out my email today and I ran across this post I sent to a fellow blogger in '05. She had asked if anyone wanted to post something on her site since she didn't have time. I wrote this and I am pretty sure she posted it, but it made me laugh today so I thought I would recycle it for you. Is it a bad sign that I am now using old posts instead of writing new ones? Anyway, here you go.

One of my coworkers told me he had never been to Hooters yesterday. Are there actually red blooded men in this country who have not been to Hooters? That is scary on so many levels. Now don't get me wrong, I am not a big Hooters fan, but I have been there at least three times. You know I go for the food, yeah and I read the articles in Playboy too. I think you have to go once just to see the company outfits they make these poor girls wear. *grinning*

There are a few things wrong with Hooters. For one thing, it is like a blue collar magnet. It is a poor mans strip club and tends to attract every plumber, handyman and fat disgusting white guy for miles. You have to be very careful about letting your eyes wander as you will definitely see more butt crack that you bargained for. Why can't these guys pull up their pants?

Anyway, I took my coworker there for lunch. We had to wait about 10 minutes for a table. Hey, it's Hooters believe that it is always crowded. Once we were seated a really beautiful brunette with blue eyes came up to our table (see girls I wasn't just staring at her rack). Our conversation went something like this:

Hooters Girl (HG) – "How are you guys doing? Can I start you off with a beer?"
CoWorker (CW) - *staring directly at her tits* "Huh?"
Me – "She wants to know if you want a beer."
CW – "Oh, uh yeah. Sierra Nevada, please."
Me – "Me too."
HG – "Do you want to get a pitcher, that way you guys can have like 2 beers each and it is cheaper than ordering two beers?"
CW - *back to staring at her tits* "Huh?"
Me – "Yeah, that will be fine"
HG – "Do you want to start off with some appetizers, like some chicken wings?"
CW – "Huh?"
Me – "No thanks."
HG – "OK, I will be right back with your beers." She walks away from the table.
Me – "You know you have to be careful in here. This is how they get you. You are so mesmerized by their tits that they can ask you anything and you say yes. 'Would you like to donate a kidney while you are here? Why yes, yes I would.'"
CW - *laughing and looking around* "There are a lot of women eating here."
Me – "Yeah, they come for the food."

Now it is not that I do not appreciate the beauty of the Hooters Girl and the outfits they wear. I feel about Hooters pretty much the way I feel about a strip club. They are a complete waste of time. Why should I go to a club, pay some girl like $100.00 to shake her ass in my face and then end up at home, alone, on the internet looking at porn. I could just as easily have skipped the strip club and went straight to the Internet for porn. Hooters is the same principle. When I go out to lunch, I don't see any reason to be served by some 22 year old girl whose bathing suit shows less skin. I can appreciate a beautiful woman even when she is wearing clothes.

It also doesn't help that only a few of the Hooters Girls on duty yesterday were even attractive. Don't get me wrong, they all had rockin bodies, you have to just to wear the outfit, but there weren't three pretty girls in the place. I also told my buddy about the time a man sued Hooters for discriminatory hiring practices. First I am not sure what guy wants to wear that outfit. Next can you imagine if you went to Hooters and a dude came up to your table and said he was going to be your server? Oh no your not…

Next time you are at Hooters, try the Buffalo Chicken Sandwich (Three Mile Island Hot) – good stuff.

Anonymous Guy Not Staring At Your Rack…Really