A Typical Holiday...Almost

Just a typical holiday around my place. Lots of nieces and nephews running around. Parents screaming at their kids. Women cooking in the kitchen. A good meal with 20 people sitting around one long table. Some wine and a few games of dominos amongst the cousins. What more could you ask for?

Oh yeah, the after dinner partying. My brothers, a cousin, who is entirely too much younger than I, and I head out to a bar. The local ghetto bar. My old hangout when I lived there. What am I told when I get there? My favorite bartender died two weeks ago. Brain aneurism. A woman who lived a very hard life was taken very suddenly. Rest in peace Elaine. Sad news and not exactly what I needed to hear. After a ten minute melt down by me, I got back to being with my brothers.

The bar closed early so we ventured forth and headed to the next ghetto lounge. The last time I was in this place, I almost had to beat down some punk kid who I didn’t even know. I know what you are thinking, but I was sober, had just gotten there when this kid decided he didn’t like me. He decided he was going to get in my face. Ghetto usual. His friends took him out and pretty much just in time. We had some more cocktails and then of course we got into trouble. Now we didn’t do anything wrong and it was a big misunderstanding which I cleared up in about five minutes, but that sparked a two hour debate between my brother and me.

You see, my brother has never learned one valuable lesson in life. There is a time to fight and a time to walk away. His misguided need to feel like people need to respect him has gotten him into trouble a few times. I understand that he felt like he was sticking up for me, but I didn’t need his help. I am a grown man and I will decide when I need to hurt someone. Something about the ghetto and respect. Why would you care if someone you don’t even know respects you? Only the people who know and love you can truly respect you. By the same token, only they can truly disrespect you. Nothing anyone says should ever bother you unless you care about their opinion. If someone looks at you wrong, or says something derogatory to you, laugh about it. Is it worth fighting over? Fighting over words from someone you don’t even know is not about getting respect, it is about stupidity.

Anyway, I finished my Thanksgiving by driving my brother home and trying to convince him that he needs to forget this ghetto attitude. The only respect he needs is from his family and friends. And that fighting is almost never the answer. We aren’t teenagers anymore.

On that note, today is my birthday. Yes, the big 40 has finally happened. I recently was speaking with a friend who is a few years older than me and he told me that turning 40 was a freeing experience for him. Since then he has done things he has always wanted to do, because there is no reason to be afraid to try them anymore. I am starting the second half of my life today. Wish me luck.