Saturday, November 12, 2005

Ghetto Cycle

Warning...Family memebers read this at your own risk. It is the hard truth, at least as I see it.

So you think you are having a bad day, month, year or life. Let me tell you, I’m sure it pales in comparison to my brother.

A few weeks ago, he went out to his car to go to work and guess what, no car. It was gone. Now his initial thought was that it was repossessed. He has a tendency to pay his car payment a month or so behind and assumed that the finance company finally had enough. Especially because who the hell would steal a piece of crap Honda that is ten years old. But that is exactly what happened. This really screwed him. Forget the fact that he has a wife and three kids, all under the age of six. Forget the fact that they are a single income family because his wife can’t make enough money to cover day care costs. I’m not knocking her decision to stay home with the kids as I believe it's the right decision for them. Forget the fact that they can’t pay their bills every month and that they are neck deep in debt. He was really screwed because he didn't have insurance. So now he has one less car, but not one less car payment as he still owes money on the car.

I failed to mention my golf clubs were also in the trunk of his car. A set he was borrowing from me. I know my brother and he can be very sensitive to these things so I was sure he was feeling as bad about losing my clubs as his car. I called him immediately upon hearing of this tragedy and reassured him it was no big deal. It was just a good excuse for me to get a new set of clubs.

Now, as if that was not bad enough, he was in his other car this week waiting to pay the toll at one of the many bridges here in the Bay Area when apparently someone forgot that you have to stop and pay tolls at bridges. A minivan plowed into the rear end of his car and totaled it. Damn minivan drivers. He wasn’t seriously hurt, but the car is done. Did I mention that he has no insurance? Well, he also has no driver’s license. Why, basically because of stupidity and a lack of money. If you do stupid things when you are young and pile up tickets and warrants that will costs $2000 to relieve, that you can’t afford, you end up losing your license. And in California, if you are in an accident and do not have insurance or a driver’s license, then it does not matter whose fault the accident is, you are in trouble. So now he has to get a lawyer to figure out how much trouble he is in.

It seems unfair that the people who can’t afford the every day price of living in this country are the ones that seem to have the most shit piled on them. He was barely making it, just trying to support his family and raise three great kids and now all this happens to him. He can’t afford to buy a new-used car. He can’t afford an attorney or to be fined.

I wrote this story for a reason. It was not just to point out how bad my brother has it. Or to solicit funds from my six readers for my poor brother, although a telethon sounds like a good idea. I think there are too many people in this country who are forced to live as my brother does. He can’t afford to live on the money he makes and he has no legal options to increase his salary. Now don’t get me wrong, my brother makes a decent living. Well, it would be a decent living if this was 1975. But what we would consider to be a decent living back then is just not enough today. It also doesn’t help that he lives in one of the most expensive states in the country.

I wish this problem was limited to just one member of my family. But to be honest, none of my siblings can afford to live here. They all live well beyond their means. I used to think it was just them, but what I have come to realize is that everyone living in the ghetto is living beyond their means. Because their means just aren’t enough to live. If it was, they wouldn’t live here.

I remember back when I was younger and separated from my family. I used to comment how my family tends to cut corners. You know, they never seem to have insurance on their cars, or pay their registration on time or a hundred different other things that generally always come down to a lack of money. They cut these corners because they have no choice and to be honest, I have never had to make these choices. Do I pay the Visa bill this month or go buy food. Being continuously forced to make these types of choices makes the hole your in deeper and deeper until you can’t climb out of it.

I’m lucky. With the exception of a few periods in my life, I have never had to live this way. I have always made enough money to live my life as I want to. I pay my bills. I spend money on things I want. I buy new golf clubs when I want. Even when I have had rough spots, the hole has never gotten so deep that I couldn’t climb out of it. I don’t think that my siblings will ever be able to live this way. They have very few options to improve their standing in life (Nick – remember what I said about options in life). They frankly need a lot of luck to drastically change their lives…I’m talking lotto luck.

The thing that scares me most of all is that this is the normal cycle of life in the ghetto. I just don't know how people break this cycle. How do parents keep their children from living the same life.

I'm not some screaming liberal who thinks that the government should step in and make sure that my brother leads a better life. I wrote all of this because, I want those conservatives who think that everyone should be able to make their life better to consider those people who don't have the options or ability to better themselves in this crazy capitalistic society we live in. For every one of us that gets out of the ghetto, there are a thousand that can't escape.

I am also not trying to sound superior to my siblings. I’m not. They all have something that I don’t in this life. I may be secure financially, at least right now, but they are all secure in love. I have spent a lot of time with my family over the last few years and I can tell you that all of them are in great relationships. Long term relationships. All of them are with the person they were meant to be with. I envy this about them. Maybe this is how the universe balances things. Maybe all the hardships they have to endure due to a lack of finances are offset by the fact that they get to spend them with someone they love. And all of the hardships I have had to endure around love are offset by the fact that I can afford to buy as much alcohol as I want. It sure would be nice to have both though.

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