I got a call from my son yesterday. He called me to wish me a happy father’s day. This was very nice of him, but as we spoke I realized that he was struggling with some things. Mainly life. He is 19 and life can be very difficult at 19. I know because it was difficult for me. Now, I’m not going to share the context of our conversation, but I would like to share the advice that I gave him. Partly for all of the people who stop by here and are mildly interested in what I have to say, but more for him. I want him to be able to read what I was trying to tell him. Sometimes thoughts or ideas can be more easily processed by reading them and I find that I can express these things better in considered words than I can at the moment of the conversation.
Basically what I tried to get across was this - when things in your life get hard, try to step back and look at the bigger picture, the bigger goal. I think we sometimes get so caught up in our day to day routines and the minutia of life that we fail to see the bigger picture. And I believe there is a bigger picture to everything we do in this life. I think life is about the bigger picture. It doesn’t matter if you are talking about work, relationships, school, or just the day to day grind of being the best person you can be.
Take relationships for example. Why do we spend so much of our lives trying to find that one special person who is perfect for us? It’s difficult and full of disappointments. I am in the middle of my second divorce, so I know all about the disappointments. Why do we keep on trying? What is the bigger picture? We are all trying to avoid waking up at age 70 and finding ourselves in a nursing home with no family, hoping that the person who brings our breakfast can spend five minutes talking with us so we don’t have to spend another day waiting to die, alone. Grim, right? But family is the bigger picture. So whenever you find yourself thinking that there is no one out there for you, or wanting to give up the search because of another bad date or have lost faith in the opposite sex (or same sex for some of you), remember the big picture and endure. Relationships are hard and take work, but they are worth it in the end.
I don’t think the big picture always needs to be so long term either. Why do you go to school? We go to school so we can prepare ourselves to work at something we love. Even though school can be difficult, it’s nothing but a means to an end. The bigger picture is finding a passion in life. Something that will drive you to succeed, or excel, or just be the best person you can be. It doesn’t matter what your passion is, just that you try to find it.
You can find a big picture in almost anything we do. Just think about the important why’s? Why do we work? Some of us work so that one day we won’t have to. Some of us work because we found something we love to do. Some of us work to support our kids and give them a better chance at a happy life. It could be as simple as, we work so we can go see the Dave Matthews Band in concert. The trick is to figure out what your big picture is. What are your goals. And then when life kicks you in the balls, remember why you are fighting so hard. Focus on the prize and the ups and downs of the roller coaster that is life will be a blast. And should you throw up once in a while because you shouldn’t have eaten that hot dog and cotton candy, then just clean it up and move on. You only get one shot at life, why not try and enjoy it.
OK, maybe I don’t express myself better in words. Did this make any sense to anyone?
2 comments:
You got the point across nicely. I remember being 19. It sucked. The ffeling that you should be doing something with your life starts to set in. School is done and life begins and when you should be having fun, you're busy being concerned for finding your direction.
I understand it, although, I cant say that I live it.
I wish I could look at the big picture, even at the small things, I try to remember that I dont have to try so hard at certain things, I dont have to drive myself crazy because it will all work out the way its meant to. The world is as it should be.
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