Time Heals All

Time has a funny way of healing everything. My sister and I were not very close as children even though we are less than two years apart. Me being the oldest and a bit of a loner probably had something to do with it. Somehow there always felt like there was a little resentment between us as children. I think I know why, but that is not really the reason for this post. When I left the house at 18, we were still not what you would call close and things only got worse as we got older.

Now I don't think it is truly possible to hate a brother or sister. But I think I would be understating it a bit by saying that we did not like each other much for about 10 years of our life. Well, I don't want to speak for her, so I will adjust that and say I did not like her much for about 10 years. It wasn't just because of the way she treated me. It wasn't just because of the way she treated the rest of the family, although that had a lot to do with it. I didn't like the way she treated herself. You see my sister had a substance abuse problem. Now I don't really know when it started, but I know it was still very bad when I got out of the Navy. For 5 or so years after I got back from the Navy we did our best not to acknowledge that each other were alive. We probably did not say 10 words to one another over that time period. This was the only way I could deal with her.

I am telling you all of this now because, well it's true. More importantly, I am telling you all of this because I want to congratulate her on a great milestone that just passed. Last month my sister celebrated her 6th year of being clean and sober. Now I am a firm believer that you can not help people who abuse drugs or alcohol until they are ready to be helped. Well somewhere along the lines, she decided she had enough. I wasn’t there for that revelation nor did I have anything to do with it, but it did happen. And I must admit that she has completely turned her life around over the last six years and in doing so she has healed the relationship that was severely damaged between us.

Now I know that she reads this blog from time to time, so sis, if you are reading this, I want you to know a few things. I am very proud of you. I am proud of the way you changed your life. I am proud of the way you went back to school to get your degree (almost done by the way). I am proud of the way you raise your 6 (yeah I said 6) kids. I am ecstatic that you do a great job of keeping the kids away from me most of the time (kidding - well sort of kidding). You are a testament to the adage that it is never to late to change your life. Mostly, I want you to know that I am glad you are back in my life and that I love you very much.

If you had asked the people who knew us 10 years ago about our relationship, they would have told you that there was no way we were ever going to be close, hell, or even be in the same room with one another. Time has proven them wrong.