Guys, have you ever had a man try and pick you up? OK, I am talking to the guys who are not looking to have a man pick them up. How about you ladies. Ever had another lady make the moves on you? Just for future reference ladies, if a woman ever hits on you and you decide to give it a whirl, make sure you capture the moment, somehow. OK, I don't need video or photos, just a clear, very detailed accounting of the story will suffice. Who am I kidding, I need video.
Back from fantasy land for a second. I have actually been hit on a few times by men. Amazingly not one time in the four days I was in P-Town (see the photo page for more information). Now, I grew up around San Francisco and have been around gay people my whole life. I am so much the antithesis of a homophobe it is not funny. I actually feel like it is a compliment when anyone tries to pick me up. I politely explain that I am not gay and then we both usually have a laugh about it. I wanted to share a story of one of the times I have been hit on by a man.
Now what makes this story interesting is that it happened while I was on vacation, at Disneyworld, with my wife. Now I don't know how many of you have been to Disneyworld, but this was my first trip. I had grown up in California and only been to Disneyland. There is no comparison between the two. Disneyland is all about little kids. There is actually some adult fun to be had at Disneyworld.
One of the best areas in Disneyworld is Epcot Center. My wife and I had so much fun there. We stayed in a hotel on property, and could actually walk to the back gate of Epcot from our hotel front door in about three minutes.
Now those of you that have been to Epcot know that in the back of the park is an area they call "The Countries." This is an area where they represent different countries and their traditions. The interesting thing is that everything in each area is from that country, including the people who work there.
Someone recommended that, for fun, we should have a drink "around the world" in Epcot. Basically you start on one end of the countries and have a drink in every country working your way around the world. The idea is to have a local drink in every country - so in Mexico, have tequila - in Japan, have sake - you get the idea. Well, we decided not to worry about how sick this would probably make us and give it a try. We started at one end, Mexico I think, and worked around the world. At the other end we found a British pub. That is where we decided to end the tour and just get pissed.
We were in the middle of our second or third drink when we started talking to a couple of guys in the bar. They did not seem openly gay or flamboyant, and I did not realize what was happening for a few minutes, probably the alcohol. But after talking with them for 20 minutes or so, I realized that one of them was mainly talking to me and his questions were a little leading.
"So, how long are you going to be in town?"
"What else are you going to do while you're here?"
"Do you want to meet tomorrow, just the two of us?"
I think the last one is what turned on the light bulb for my wife. That is when the cat fight ensued. There I was standing in this bar laughing while my wife and another guy were having a fight over me. It was a bit surreal. The fight went a little something like this:
"What the hell, he is married and I am standing right here."
"So."
"He is also not gay!"
"So you say."
"He likes women!"
"Well, I am more woman that you are, honey."
"Wow, I think it is time we left."
"Maybe you should."
Then my wife said something I will never forget as long as I live. She got about 6 inches from his face and said in a rather calm voice:
"You're just pissed because I am going to take him home and fuck him and you're not."
I was never so proud and strangely aroused in my entire life. Disneyworld is so much fun.
No comments:
Post a Comment