Nick

I haven’t had much to write about lately, so I thought I would share a few of the conversations I have had with Nick over the years.

Nick called me out of the blue one day and this is how our conversation went:

Nick: “Dad, I just wanted to tell you that you don’t have to worry about me anymore.”
Blue: “Really? Why is that?”
Nick: “I am no longer living below the poverty line.”
Blue: “Great. How much money did you make last year?”
Nick: “Fifteeeen thousand dollars.”
Blue: “Nick, just where do you think the poverty line is? You will need to make a lot more money than that to get above the poverty line.”
Nick: “Really?”

Sometimes ignorance really is bliss.

From the first story you can probably gather than money is not a big motivating factor in my son’s life. He tends to lead a very simple, bohemian like lifestyle. As long as he has money to pay rent and buy beer, he is usually happy. He doesn’t own a car because public transportation can take him everywhere he needs to go. He likes to shop at second hand stores because other stores are overpriced. And this brings me to my next story.

Nick and I were walking down the street in Seattle on one of my many visits there.

Nick: “Hey dad, see these shoes?”
Blue: “Yeah,” as I look down at them.
Nick: “Fifty cents.” He said so proudly.
Blue: “Yeah, but Nick, somebody else wore them.”

One of the things I truly admire about Nick is the comfort he has with himself. He seems to know himself and understand what he needs to be happy in life. And he is not willing to settle for something because it is convenient. This really shows up in his romantic life. Even at his young age, he is willing to wait for the right person and not be with someone just to be with them. So when he introduces me to a girlfriend, it is usually someone he truly likes.

We planned to meet one night in Seattle for dinner and he asked to bring his
girlfriend along. I agreed, of course, and then the following conversation happened.

Nick: “She was a little nervous about meeting you.”
Blue: “Really?”
Nick: “Yeah, but I told her not to worry, you pick on me a lot more than she does and that she would have a good time.”

The scary part is that is so true. I think Nick and I have a relationship that doesn’t quite fit into the normal father – son category. Maybe it is because we are close in age for father and son. Maybe it is because he lived apart from me practically his whole life and so our time together was not always parent to child like. Either way, I am happy for the relationship we have and the fact that Nick still sees me as his friend and still likes to hang out with his dad.

At that dinner, Nick was talking about their weekend plans to go to some happening in Seattle. He was excited because they were giving away free cheese at the event. We all laughed and had a great dinner. After dinner as the three of us were having a drink at the bar, I gave Nick this piece of advice.

Blue: “You know Nick, I realize that you are young and that this bohemian lifestyle you lead seems pretty cool right now. And I can see that the girls think you are pretty cool, but one day you will meet a girl and she is going to want you to be able to take her to dinner. And pay for it. And not just take her places because they are giving away free cheese.”

One of the common interests that Nick and I share is music. He obviously is into it at a very different level than I am, playing in a band and trying to make a living at it. I am happy to just listen to it. I remember that as we wandered our way together around Spain and Portugal a few years ago, we spent many a days and nights discussing music. One of our conversations went something like this.

Nick: “The only good music ever made was made in the 60’s.”
Blue: “What?”
Nick: “The music made today and over the last few decades is all crap. The guys in the 60’s really knew how to make music.”
Blue: “Are you crazy?”
Nick: “No, Bob Dylan and Neil Young and all those guys they really made good music. Today’s musicians are all crap.”
Blue: “You know every generation that comes along thinks that the 60’s were this magical musical time. Have you ever stopped to think that the reason the music from the 60’s seems so great is that today you are only hearing the great music from the 60’s.”
Nick: “Huh?”
Blue: “Well there not playing the crappy songs from the 60’s on the radio today. I grew up in the 70’s and I can tell you that the music they play from the 70’s on the radio is only the great music from the 70’s. They aren’t playing 'Disco Duck' and 'Convoy' on the radio anymore and you know why?”
Nick: “Why?”
Blue: “Because those songs sucked! But they played the hell out of them in the 70's. You want to judge today’s music, I say wait 30 years and see what they are still playing. That will be the great music from today.”
Nick thought about this for a few minutes and then he said, “You know that is a really good point.”

I will admit that much of what I find fascinating about Nick he seems to have gotten from his mom. Not that he and I don’t share a lot of traits, but I think he gets his laid back attitude and his artistic ability from his mom. I have often thought that his mom would have been happy to run away and join a traveling renaissance fair when she was 17. Nick always seems to have a bit of that attitude in him. Sometimes I wish that he shared more of my drive to succeed and get ahead in life. I believe those characteristics are within him, but they are definitely secondary to some of his more artistic characteristics. I honestly believe that as long as he was able to play music and hang out with his friends, he would be happy. And at the end of the day, can any parent say that they want anything else for their child?