What's In A Name

So my friends K&T and I were having some discussions this weekend in Atlantic City on what to name my niece. They don’t know it is a girl yet, but I am assuming it will be. Mainly because I am not sure that K has the Y chromosome to give. Anyway…I asked them what they plan on naming my Godchild (OK a little early to call her that as I have not been asked, but I am hopeful). Their number one choice is Emma. I said no. Their next choice was Madison. I said no. Their next choice was Emily. I asked them if they realize that those are three of the most popular names for girls over the last five years. I begged them not to give their child a name that is that popular. I told them if they did, I would just have to call her by a nickname that I make up.

By the way, I looked it up this week and those are actually numbers 1, 2, and 3 on the list of most popular names according to the Social Security Agency. I wish these web sites would have existed when Nick was born. Or really that any web sites had existed. I wrote in the past how my ex and I picked Nick’s name. It is a great story, but at the time we had no way of knowing that Nick was one of the top 3 most popular names. Nick has about 10 friends today all named Nick.

All of this talk got me to thinking. There should be a guideline available to parents on how to name your child. I am sure there is, but I thought I would pass along the Blue944 guideline.

1. Do not name your child one of the 25 most popular names being given in the last five years. Children have a hard time developing individuality. You are not helping them if you give them a name so popular that when someone says “Hey Emma,” ten girls, and one guy whose parents have a bad sense of humor, turn around.
2. By the same token, don’t be too creative. Giving your child a name that no one has is just as much of a recipe for disaster. Basically don’t name your child Apple unless you have the money and fame necessary to make sure that she will be popular no matter what.
3. Don’t create a new spelling of a name. Don’t make your child spend the rest of their life having to tell people how to spell their name. It’s really not clever, it’s just annoying.
4. Don’t name your child after YOU! Call your child Junior if you want, but give him a different name. If you can’t come up with something better than Billy Joe Jim Bob III, ask the doctor what you should name your child. I am sure that they can come up with something better than your dumb ass name.
5. If you want to name your child after a relative or the guy that saved your life in the fifth grade, use it as the middle name. It accomplishes the desired tribute affect and still allows the child to have their own name. Remember that your grandmother lived back in the day when "Maude" was popular. If they decide to go by their great grandmother’s name, then they can, but don’t make them have an old name before they get old.
6. Make sure that the first, middle and last name sound good when you say them together. They should roll off your tongue. I guarantee that when you get mad at your child you will be saying all three together. You might as well yell poetically.
7. Know the nicknames associated with the name. If you can think of a way to make fun of the name, then you better believe every sixth grader on the planet will think of it. Also remember to consider the initials.
8. If possible, give your daughter a name that has a guy’s nickname – like Samantha (Sam). It may just be me, but I think all girls who have a guy’s name are hot.

Anyone got any additions to this guideline they would like to share?