Stewardess, the handcuffs please.

Let me tell you what not to do on an airplane. Don’t start yelling at a steward and stewardess. Don’t point your finger at them and say “this is my seat, I paid for it and you are invading my space.” Don’t act like a raving lunatic. You can do these things, but I can pretty much guarantee it is only going to lead to you walking off the plane at the end of the trip right into the arms of the police.

Yep, this happened on my flight back from Miami last night. Some guy apparently took offense to how close the two stewardesses were to him and started yelling. Loud enough that the whole plane looked at him and I was able to hear him over the music on my iPod. Now I have no idea why he was so pissed off, but there are a couple of factors that really amp up the “this was incredible stupid” factor. The stewardesses were in the middle of handing out the complimentary drink and bag of nuts, so they pretty much needed to be in the aisle. I prefer they hand me my drink and not throw it at me from the galley.

And secondly, the plane was only half full. There were many open seats and even a few open rows. So if you wanted to be left alone in your space, why didn’t you pick a space near a window and not take an aisle seat…jackass.

As I was exiting the plane, I saw the police standing by the door with the steward who took the brunt of the yelling. I am not really sure what happened to the guy, as I did not stick around. I didn’t want to be a witness because, well, I have that outstanding warrant in North Carolina for…well, that is a whole other story.

On a side note, the trip to Miami was great. Four days in the sun and WIND. Well, only three of the days was it windy. My vendor puts on a hell of a conference. Great food and drink and, oh yeah, we even talked about work in between the three rounds of golf. Yep, it was a good trip and no, I don’t know how you can get my job. I am not even sure how I got it. The scary thing is I am actually thinking of leaving it.

I am off to the west coast next week. More work…no really. Stop laughing! Stop it!