Lost Opportunity

Another morning commuting to work on the subway. The train is crowded, standing room only for me. It’s quiet on the train. A few people are holding conversations, but most of them are just sitting, or trying to get in a nap, or like me, listening to music. I have nine stops before I get to the city. I stand with my eyes closed, listening to the haunting horn of Chuck Mangione in my ears. I am holding onto a rail and just flowing with the movement of the train. Two stops down and seven more to go.

At the third stop, my eyes open and are immediately drawn to the door closest to me. She enters. A stranger, someone I have never seen before, but I can’t seem to stop looking at her, or am I now staring. She is beautiful. A brunette with straight hair and captivating eyes. Her makeup is perfect. There are no seats so she is forced to stand as well, and only a few feet from me. She is not tall enough to reach the overhead handrail, so she hangs onto one of the seats. Her back is to me and I can see that she either takes very good care of herself or is just blessed with a great figure. Her perfume invades my senses and I am forced to close my eyes and just take a deep breath. In that moment, I am totally enamored with this stranger. This beautiful stranger.

The car stops at the next stop and she almost looses her balance. I reach to catch her, but she recovers and never even notices me. I start to wonder where she is going? Where is her final stop? Does she work downtown like me? I’m suddenly aware that I have not taken my eyes off this stranger. Has she noticed? Has anyone else? How long have I been staring at her?

Stops come and go, my thoughts aren’t on them. My mind is totally occupied with this beautiful stranger. Should I talk to her? Do people really meet on the subway? Can it be that simple?

The train is to crowded. More people have boarded and now she is farther away. She is now out of reach. No chance to talk with her. No chance to explain the effect she had on me this morning.

We are under the Bay and I know my stop is next. Maybe she will get off with me. Maybe I will get my chance then. The train stops. The doors open. I move toward them. She doesn’t. My heart sinks a little. I walk across the platform and head toward the exits. Up the steps, out onto the street and into the crowd. I will be at work in five minutes, breakfast in hand with another opportunity lost.

Is it an opportunity lost? I don’t think so. At least I try not to think about it that way. I like to think of it as fifteen beautiful minutes on the train. Fifteen minutes filled with possibilities. Filled with hopes. Filled with dreams. Fifteen minutes of knowing that there is someone out there who can totally turn my world upside down. Someone who can make me feel the butterflies in my stomach. Someone who can make me dream of a time when I’m in love again. Fifteen minutes that will stay in my memory, forever.