From the Sty

I had my HR meeting yesterday, and just in time. Yeah, we went over some of the basics, like how we get paid, how to choose your benefits, filling out your paperwork etc. But I think the thing I needed the most was the refresher on sexual harassment. It was nice to be reminded that the following is NOT how you should interact with your new coworkers:

Boss: “Blue944, let me introduce you to Sales Rep.”
SR: “Nice to me you.”
Blue944: “Wow, are those real?”

I only say it was a good refresher, because I had the urge to actually ask this question later in the day. I met one of the vendor reps in the afternoon and OMG…I so wanted to ask if they were real. They looked like a couple of penned up beasts trying to get out. I think this is what happens when strippers are forced to get real jobs.**

Now, I’m somewhat mannered and educated in the ways of the world, so I did not spend the entire time talking directly into them, but I admit I had to look once in a while. Because, you know as V said, men like breasts. Especially breasts that would give Pamela Anderson a run for her money. I personally have never found Pam to be that attractive, but when you are talking about breasts, she is the queen. Talk about a pair of breast making millions – that’s her.

I am finding that I need to get used to working in a full office again. I spent the last few years working from home and at my last office job, there were five people in the office. Now I am working in an office building with thousands of people and a couple hundred just on my floor. So many people, so many women, so many breasts. I feel like I am being reintroduced to the world again. Don’t worry, I have a lot of self control and will fight the urge to stare, comment or touch.

**Your regularly scheduled NON “men are pigs” programming will resume with my next post. For those feminist that truly feel the need to send me hate mail, try to keep it under one page and in single syllable words as pigs have a short attention span.