How do you do that again?

My horoscope for today or at least the way I read it:

Sagittarius
November 22 - December 20
Restlessness and boredom with your daily routine could draw you out of your usual sphere of influence today, dear Sagittarius, and into group activities of some kind. Perhaps you've decided to take a class, or perhaps you simply need a conjugal visit. You could also decide to stroll through an art gallery, or attend a concert. A sports event would also be a lot of fun! Whatever you decide, this is not the evening to stay in. Get out and enjoy yourself!

What? Conjugal Visit? It seems there is a reason why my thoughts have turned to sex lately (not Sex but sex). I truly hope that having sex IS like riding a bike. I don’t even like to think about how long it has been since I was in the company of a naked woman. I am beginning to think that I need to head to N.O. and take a refresher course from Master Lunatic. When the opportunity does come up, I don’t want to be like, "where does this go again?"

I have been thinking about this lately and it hit me that my problem is not that the opportunities have not been presented to me, it is that I am not even looking for the opportunity. Sure I go out, but I make sure to go to places where the chances of even a hook up are slim and none. There is definitely no chance of meeting a relationship possibility in any of the places I have frequented lately. To be honest, I am not sure I want to meet one of the “single, 9%, non-Swampdonkey” (love that, thanks loon) women that would fulfill my requirements as I am not ready to be in a relationship.

I have not even bothered to buy the necessary safety equipment required these days to have carnal knowledge of a lady. And I am not talking about safety glasses and a helmet, well, yes, a helmet of sorts. I am not sure what I would do if the opportunity did arise, so to speak, one evening. I know that sooner or later, in order to move on with my life, I will have to stop avoiding what I hope is the inevitable.