I have been reading and writing in blogisphere for a few months now. I realized early on what an incredible opportunity this medium of communication is to learn about people. It is a chance to peer into people's minds and their souls. People share things, in this anonymous world, that they would never tell other people. Especially people of the opposite sex.
I read on blogs all the time about the interaction between men and women. The women are always writing how men suck. The men are always writing how women suck - OK different context, but this is the crux of my point. Men and women view each other differently. Blogisphere has given me a chance to learn a great deal about the way women "play the game."
Make no mistake the mating ritual of a man and a woman is a game. It is not just human beings playing this game either - spend any time watching the animal planet and you will see that every species on this planet plays this game. So stop hating the game and start playing it right.
I do not want to embarrass anyone specific, but I would like to give you a simple example of what you can learn if you just pay attention. If any of you have been reading MartiniLoves site over the last week, then you would have read about "the hottest kiss ever." I enjoyed that post very much. However, the posts that have followed it have been much more interesting and educational. She has expressed her insecurities and uneasiness on how she should proceed or if she should proceed with this budding relationship. She wonders how he feels - was he even thinking about what happened. As a guy I found it fascinating to look into her mind and see what she was thinking after the hot kiss. It showed me that women are having the same mental crisis at the onset of the game. I am not sure most men realize that. We think we are the only ones struggling with these questions.
These opportunities to learn about the opposite sex are all around us. All we have to do is look, listen and learn.
Now I am a guy, and I do not profess to understand the female of the species at all, but I would like to point out a few things for the ladies out there. Maybe this will help you when you are playing the game. Trade secrets to follow:
Now, if we can agree that this is a game, maybe we can agree that the women are holding the better cards in this game. They have an advantage in this game, at least, until they give it away.
You ever hear a woman describe what she is looking for in a man to another woman. She is looking for someone who is loyal, honest, open, is her best friend, forgiving blah, blah, blah...and after she goes through these types of adjectives, she comes to the sex part of it. The problem is she could get the same thing by buying a puppy and a vibrator. A man can not get what he is looking for in a relationship from a dog - at least if he thinks he can, he should seek professional help. You get my point. Women, this is your biggest advantage.
The mistake most women make is that they give away their advantage too early. When a man goes after a woman he has just met, he is generally controlled by his overwhelming urge to fuck. I know women feel this urge as well, but it is not what controls them. The trick for you ladies is to allow a man enough time to begin to see YOU through the LUST in his eyes. The inner you. The part of you he will love long after the lust is gone. He needs time to get emotionally invested. At the beginning all he has is his lust. If you give into this lust, then the hunter in the man takes over and he begins to look for his next prey.
You see, people always want what they can not have. This goes for men and women. Once they can have it, then the desire begins to fade. You can see evidence of this all over blogland.
Here is one for the guys. I have a friend who tells all the women he meets that he is not interested in having a relationship. That he is not ready to date only one woman. That if she wants to hook up with him, he is all for that, but she should not expect that they will be dating. He does all this the first time he meets them. He is ballsy. You would be surprised at how many women believe that they can change his mind. He has told them that they can not have him, and now they want him. I think just to prove him wrong. You ladies out there will have to explain why this happens - but it happens...a lot.
Have you ever heard this expression:
"Men fall in love with their eyes, women fall in love with their ears."
I have come to realize the absolute truth in this statement. Well, it is almost absolutely true. Men actually fall in lust with their eyes. This difference between lust and love is pretty significant. Basically, men are very visual while women are more auditory. I did not make this up, you can read any of the millions of relationship self help books and they will basically tell you the same thing.
I saw a great example of the woman auditory needs reading one of my favorite blogs over the last few weeks. A woman was physically attracted to a man she had met a few times. She was complaining that he had not asked her out even though they had seen each other in mixed company a few times and he seemed to be attracted to her as well. She liked him, but was not going to wait much longer for him to "make his move." Because she liked him, she gave him more time than she would have another guy. Are you listening guys? When they finally did go out, you know what she said? She did not think that this relationship was going to work. He was nice enough, but he did not share her sense of humor or outlook on life. She basically did not like what she heard. She made that decision on date number one. Do you think a man would make that kind of rational decision on date number one - NO. He still has the lust in his eyes.
Remember the answers are right in front of you. You may have to look for them. You may have to read between the lines, but they are right here.
Addendum to this post: Women - if you are just looking to get laid, then abandon all of your expectations and start rocking.
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