Dear Bloggers,
I was thinking that it might be time for me to get back on the dating horse. I have been physically separated for over a year and mentally separated for a lot longer than that. I have yet to date anyone since the break up. A little because I did not think I was ready, but mostly because I live in the ghetto and I have yet to meet someone I would even consider taking on a date, let alone dating. I am very picky about the woman I date and I refuse to date someone whose only financial option is living in the ghetto. Call me a snob, but I have been down that road already.
Now I know some of you are saying, but you live in the ghetto…but I don’t have to. I make a good enough living that I could live anywhere. I only live where I do out of convenience. There is the big difference. As a matter of fact, I recently considered moving across the country, unless the company I consult for asks me to stay until the end of 2005. They are waiting on approvals now.
I also don’t get the chance to meet many new people because, although I grew up here, I don’t know anyone here anymore. Most of my friends were smart enough to get the hell out of the ghetto a long time ago. This means that I have no wing man and I have no real motivation to go to The City by myself. I am limited to local girls or my sisters’ friends, and they are mainly too young or seeing other people, and besides, they live in the ghetto.
I have frequented some local bars…I am not into the club scene; I like to be able to hear myself mumbling later in the evening. The problem with the bar scene in the ghetto is you either get (a) a young crowd of thugs and punks that feel the need to prove they are men every weekend by ending up in a fight or (b) a crowd that is more my mom’s age than mine. I am not sure which is worse, but I know which is safest. The ghetto is no place to get into a bar fight. I enjoy the older crowd but when the woman hit on me it’s just creepy.
Now I have rambled on for a bit just to give you some back ground into my situation. I am curious to get your opinions about online dating. I have considered it lately, but I am not sure if it is such a good idea. Setting aside my emotional shortcoming at this time, I am still wondering what kind of people I would meet using one of these services.
I have looked at a few services and even done some searches when they were free. I went so far as to write a profile on one of the site (I did not make it public though so no one can see me). My searches on these sites have yielded relatively normal sounding women.
I did notice a few things.
First - there is an unusual amount of women on these sites who list or talk about camping as something they like to do. Almost all of the women make it a point to state how “outdoorsy” they are. Now I am not sure if they do this because they think every guy likes camping and this will make them more endearing to men. Maybe they should consider that the reason they can’t find a guy is that they are always in the woods hiking and camping. Those of you that know anything about me know I hate camping. I wouldn’t go camping if Salma Hayek asked me.
Secondly - there are also a lot of women in their 30’s that have never been married and do not have any children. Of course this seems odd to me because all the women in the ghetto are married and have kids before they are 20 let alone 30.
I think I should be targeting these 30 somethings that have never been married, because they are probably the women that have been focusing on their career and now have decided that men are OK and can fit into their life. These women will not need to redefine themselves in the middle of a relationship because they want a new career.
I am just not sure that I want to try this online dating thing. I am wondering how many freaks I will have to meet in order to find one nice, sincere, real woman. I am sure that this is probably scarier for women who use online dating services as most men ARE freaks. But when you have not dated in ten years, the whole proposition is scary. How is dating different in 2005?
One of my best friends met his wife through an online service. I know he went out with quite a few women before he met her though. She is great so there must be some nice girls out there.
Have you ever online dated and how did it turn out?
Signed,
Undecided in the Ghetto
7 comments:
I am prepared to be the ONLY one with this opinion so consider the source and take it with a grain of salt.
I am scared shitless of online dating. Mostly because my Ex did it (while we were married) and I don't trust anyone who is online for the purpose of impressing someone trying to get a date. NOT THAT PEOPLE IN THE REAL WORLD DON'T LIE. I just think it's easier to exaggerate the truth in your profile and you don't know their wackjob history. I think I'm still trying to get back in the saddle myself and just find honesty to be something I can sense better in person. BLOGGING IS DIFFERENT. You (and we) did not put ourselves out here with the plan to meet someone. I think when the motives change, the truth does too. You'll be honest, so maybe someone else will too, but that's so hard to figure out online.
I'm not offering advice actually, because I think I need advice myself!
Thanks TG, all opinions and advice are always welcome. You concerns are also my concerns.
I have a friend (Independentgrl) who just had a really good date as a result of an online dating service. I hate to be a pessimist for someone other than myself. I have a feeling people are going to tell you to go for it. :)
Well, I've never done it but my sister has. She met a guy that she dated for quite a while. He turned out to be a complete ass...but she attracts that kind of guy regardless. She also met another guy online and when they met in person she was like "Um...no." But then I've known people who met someone online and married them. It's basically using your good judgment. Yes, there will be liars and there will be genuinely good women who are in the same predicament as you. It's all relative I guess. I say if you wanna do it, do it.
I think it would be a waste of time. There must be other places you could go to meet real women.
If the dating services are anything like the women you meet on chat lines (like ICQ used to be) then run away, fast....
I can't lie I have done it a few times but this would explain why I ALWAYS meet the freaks, even though the last two guys I was "involved" with neither of them were from the on-line dating thing, but the one I went on a date with in December and he said he liked my honesty (I told him we have no chemisty, because we didn't) he KEEPS calling me.. oh the stories I have had from that, I won't go there!! I just don't do it anymore, there has to be a better way. I met one guy at work (MAJOR BAD IDEA) and one at a bar, which isn't so bad I guess, until they turned on me, but that is just the luck of the draw I guess. I won't give up and neither should you, if you want to try it, go for it, and if you hate it just stop. I know 3 couples that met this way and they are extremly happy, but along with me and some people I know it just is a pain!!
Sorry this is so long, I could go on all day about it!!
Oh yeah and I know what you mean about the camping thing,freaking HATE camping and I have no fear in telling people that!! HAHA, I tell it how it is, too honest at times I think, this is why my mother thinks I am single...
I did not have great luck. I did get recognized in bars though...
Hey, my mom says I should stop looking for dates in bars and start looking in church...and I this time I had it wrong, I will start looking for God in bars, and boys in church!
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