Nick

I haven’t had much to write about lately, so I thought I would share a few of the conversations I have had with Nick over the years.

Nick called me out of the blue one day and this is how our conversation went:

Nick: “Dad, I just wanted to tell you that you don’t have to worry about me anymore.”
Blue: “Really? Why is that?”
Nick: “I am no longer living below the poverty line.”
Blue: “Great. How much money did you make last year?”
Nick: “Fifteeeen thousand dollars.”
Blue: “Nick, just where do you think the poverty line is? You will need to make a lot more money than that to get above the poverty line.”
Nick: “Really?”

Sometimes ignorance really is bliss.

From the first story you can probably gather than money is not a big motivating factor in my son’s life. He tends to lead a very simple, bohemian like lifestyle. As long as he has money to pay rent and buy beer, he is usually happy. He doesn’t own a car because public transportation can take him everywhere he needs to go. He likes to shop at second hand stores because other stores are overpriced. And this brings me to my next story.

Nick and I were walking down the street in Seattle on one of my many visits there.

Nick: “Hey dad, see these shoes?”
Blue: “Yeah,” as I look down at them.
Nick: “Fifty cents.” He said so proudly.
Blue: “Yeah, but Nick, somebody else wore them.”

One of the things I truly admire about Nick is the comfort he has with himself. He seems to know himself and understand what he needs to be happy in life. And he is not willing to settle for something because it is convenient. This really shows up in his romantic life. Even at his young age, he is willing to wait for the right person and not be with someone just to be with them. So when he introduces me to a girlfriend, it is usually someone he truly likes.

We planned to meet one night in Seattle for dinner and he asked to bring his
girlfriend along. I agreed, of course, and then the following conversation happened.

Nick: “She was a little nervous about meeting you.”
Blue: “Really?”
Nick: “Yeah, but I told her not to worry, you pick on me a lot more than she does and that she would have a good time.”

The scary part is that is so true. I think Nick and I have a relationship that doesn’t quite fit into the normal father – son category. Maybe it is because we are close in age for father and son. Maybe it is because he lived apart from me practically his whole life and so our time together was not always parent to child like. Either way, I am happy for the relationship we have and the fact that Nick still sees me as his friend and still likes to hang out with his dad.

At that dinner, Nick was talking about their weekend plans to go to some happening in Seattle. He was excited because they were giving away free cheese at the event. We all laughed and had a great dinner. After dinner as the three of us were having a drink at the bar, I gave Nick this piece of advice.

Blue: “You know Nick, I realize that you are young and that this bohemian lifestyle you lead seems pretty cool right now. And I can see that the girls think you are pretty cool, but one day you will meet a girl and she is going to want you to be able to take her to dinner. And pay for it. And not just take her places because they are giving away free cheese.”

One of the common interests that Nick and I share is music. He obviously is into it at a very different level than I am, playing in a band and trying to make a living at it. I am happy to just listen to it. I remember that as we wandered our way together around Spain and Portugal a few years ago, we spent many a days and nights discussing music. One of our conversations went something like this.

Nick: “The only good music ever made was made in the 60’s.”
Blue: “What?”
Nick: “The music made today and over the last few decades is all crap. The guys in the 60’s really knew how to make music.”
Blue: “Are you crazy?”
Nick: “No, Bob Dylan and Neil Young and all those guys they really made good music. Today’s musicians are all crap.”
Blue: “You know every generation that comes along thinks that the 60’s were this magical musical time. Have you ever stopped to think that the reason the music from the 60’s seems so great is that today you are only hearing the great music from the 60’s.”
Nick: “Huh?”
Blue: “Well there not playing the crappy songs from the 60’s on the radio today. I grew up in the 70’s and I can tell you that the music they play from the 70’s on the radio is only the great music from the 70’s. They aren’t playing 'Disco Duck' and 'Convoy' on the radio anymore and you know why?”
Nick: “Why?”
Blue: “Because those songs sucked! But they played the hell out of them in the 70's. You want to judge today’s music, I say wait 30 years and see what they are still playing. That will be the great music from today.”
Nick thought about this for a few minutes and then he said, “You know that is a really good point.”

I will admit that much of what I find fascinating about Nick he seems to have gotten from his mom. Not that he and I don’t share a lot of traits, but I think he gets his laid back attitude and his artistic ability from his mom. I have often thought that his mom would have been happy to run away and join a traveling renaissance fair when she was 17. Nick always seems to have a bit of that attitude in him. Sometimes I wish that he shared more of my drive to succeed and get ahead in life. I believe those characteristics are within him, but they are definitely secondary to some of his more artistic characteristics. I honestly believe that as long as he was able to play music and hang out with his friends, he would be happy. And at the end of the day, can any parent say that they want anything else for their child?

Nick's band got a write up in the Seattle Times....Here it is.

The Moondoggies rise and shine at night

"I love a band where the singer is playing harmonica!," gushed a 40-something listener at a Moondoggies show last week.

Kevin Murphy had only busted out the harmonica for one song. Still, for the discerning listener, it was a clue to where this band's soul lives — in '60s and '70s groups like the Band, the Grateful Dead and Neil Young's Crazy Horse.

Others in the crowd — some who weren't even born when those bands were in their primes — were nodding and swaying and dancing and generally captivated by the Moondoggies, one of Seattle's fastest-growing bands.

The Moondoggies recently signed with Sub Pop Records offshoot Hardly Art, then had the signing announced in Pitchfork, perhaps the most prestigious music Web site going. Last week, the Moondoggies were playing a Real Change benefit at the swank new club Sole Repair (across from Neumo's on Capitol Hill).

And that's where the glamour comes to a full stop, for now at least. The Moondoggies return to their old haunt, that thoroughly glamourless — though not without a certain charm — dive-of-dives, the U District's Blue Moon Tavern, where they play Saturday (10 p.m., no cover).

Though the overlap in names is coincidental, the Moondoggies have played the Blue Moon a half-dozen times in the past two years, and the band members are not against meeting at the tavern for beer and pool. Four of the five gathered for an interview on Monday night.

"All our friends like to come see us here," said the sideburned, soft-spoken Murphy.

"People like free shows," added the impish Robert Terreberry.

Keyboardist Caleb Quick took over the answer from there: "The best thing about this place is it feels uninhibited — free. It's the place where people always dance the most, at our shows... "

"My grandparents used to come here," tossed in drummer Carl Dahlen — gangling and wild-haired, like an ingenuous version of New York Dolls bass player Arthur "Killer" Kane.

Nicholas Davis wasn't at the Blue Moon on this night, or he probably would have picked up the beat. The way they answer questions is not unlike their songs: democratic. It's a far cry from most bands, which center on a singer-guitar player.

Formed by four graduates of Cascade High in Everett (Quick went to high school in nearby Bothell), the Moondoggies did start out as a tentative backing band for Murphy's compositions. They sensed that harmonizing was the way to go, but the others at first were self-conscious about singing too loudly, or in the wrong parts. In the past two years, they've grown far more confident, both in their singing and musical layering.

"We all like to play minimalist," said Quick, who sports a full beard and at 26 is the eldest Moondoggie, "but when it's your turn, it's your turn."

The five minimalists together create a sound that is far from it. Live, they have a big, expansive sound — often starting modestly, but allowing the music to grow and fold back on itself hypnotically, then exploring tangential paths before looping back to a base camp.

They certainly jam, in a good way. But — please — don't call them a jam band.

"It makes me think of Phish," Terreberry said. "And then I want to vomit."

"We don't really jam on stage," Murphy said, and the others started to agree with him ("String Cheese Incident!" Dahlen exclaimed, then giggled.) But then ...

"We're kind of a jam band during the week," Quick said.

Live, though, there isn't much improvising. The five-minute-plus epics are all carefully composed, the product of hours of practicing.

The Moondoggies have several different gears, sometimes within the same song.

"Want You to Know" is probably the Moondoggies' best song, with a Band-like opening that instantly had fans at Sole Repair tapping their feet and bopping their heads. It developed like a Polaroid, slowly taking on more colors and brightness — Southern-style, country rock, with bold shifts and spiral-staircaselike progressions.

They are in the process of mastering their debut album, which they expect Hardly Art to release sometime this summer. At which point this band that hasn't played outside of Washington will hit the road for its first tour.

Hardly Art continues to have a foot firmly planted in the '60s, as previous Seattle signings Arthur & Yu and the Dutchess & the Duke both explore psychedelic folk of years gone past.

By Tom Scanlon
Seattle Times staff reporter

Hear demo versions of a few Moondoggies songs: www.myspace.com/thefamilyliars.

Did I Mention?

I am on my way “home” today for the weekend. A long weekend with family and friends. It has been a few months since I was back in the Bay Area, so I am looking forward to the weekend. I am not looking forward to the six hour flight home on Tuesday. One nice thing is my cleaning lady came while I was gone this week, so I will return to a very clean apartment. I love coming home to that freshly cleaned smell.

I saw Nick this week. He cut his hair, sold his car, broke his hand in a bicycle accident, has a new summer job as a baker (I would explain “baker” but I can’t type and laugh this hard), somehow now believes in ghosts and ET and introduced me to his girlfriend. She is the girl with him in the photo to the right. I will not mention her name as she has yet to sign the release form. She struck me as a great young woman who may be very good for Nick. I really enjoyed meeting her.

And Nick, remember what I said – you can get away with the bohemian lifestyle you lead now, when you are 21, as girls think it is cool, but sooner or later, they will expect you to be able to actually buy them dinner and not always take them to someplace because they are giving out free cheese. Enjoy your youth, but remember it doesn’t last forever.

One other interesting note: I was approached about a job this week. It is still with my company, but in a different group, doing something completely different than I do now and here is the kicker…it is in NYC. Yep I said it - NYC. It would also most like be a big promotion, a good raise and did I mention in NYC. I am going to have to seriously give this some thought. Anyone want to rent my condo for a while?

What's In A Name

So my friends K&T and I were having some discussions this weekend in Atlantic City on what to name my niece. They don’t know it is a girl yet, but I am assuming it will be. Mainly because I am not sure that K has the Y chromosome to give. Anyway…I asked them what they plan on naming my Godchild (OK a little early to call her that as I have not been asked, but I am hopeful). Their number one choice is Emma. I said no. Their next choice was Madison. I said no. Their next choice was Emily. I asked them if they realize that those are three of the most popular names for girls over the last five years. I begged them not to give their child a name that is that popular. I told them if they did, I would just have to call her by a nickname that I make up.

By the way, I looked it up this week and those are actually numbers 1, 2, and 3 on the list of most popular names according to the Social Security Agency. I wish these web sites would have existed when Nick was born. Or really that any web sites had existed. I wrote in the past how my ex and I picked Nick’s name. It is a great story, but at the time we had no way of knowing that Nick was one of the top 3 most popular names. Nick has about 10 friends today all named Nick.

All of this talk got me to thinking. There should be a guideline available to parents on how to name your child. I am sure there is, but I thought I would pass along the Blue944 guideline.

1. Do not name your child one of the 25 most popular names being given in the last five years. Children have a hard time developing individuality. You are not helping them if you give them a name so popular that when someone says “Hey Emma,” ten girls, and one guy whose parents have a bad sense of humor, turn around.
2. By the same token, don’t be too creative. Giving your child a name that no one has is just as much of a recipe for disaster. Basically don’t name your child Apple unless you have the money and fame necessary to make sure that she will be popular no matter what.
3. Don’t create a new spelling of a name. Don’t make your child spend the rest of their life having to tell people how to spell their name. It’s really not clever, it’s just annoying.
4. Don’t name your child after YOU! Call your child Junior if you want, but give him a different name. If you can’t come up with something better than Billy Joe Jim Bob III, ask the doctor what you should name your child. I am sure that they can come up with something better than your dumb ass name.
5. If you want to name your child after a relative or the guy that saved your life in the fifth grade, use it as the middle name. It accomplishes the desired tribute affect and still allows the child to have their own name. Remember that your grandmother lived back in the day when "Maude" was popular. If they decide to go by their great grandmother’s name, then they can, but don’t make them have an old name before they get old.
6. Make sure that the first, middle and last name sound good when you say them together. They should roll off your tongue. I guarantee that when you get mad at your child you will be saying all three together. You might as well yell poetically.
7. Know the nicknames associated with the name. If you can think of a way to make fun of the name, then you better believe every sixth grader on the planet will think of it. Also remember to consider the initials.
8. If possible, give your daughter a name that has a guy’s nickname – like Samantha (Sam). It may just be me, but I think all girls who have a guy’s name are hot.

Anyone got any additions to this guideline they would like to share?

Home Sweet Home...Well For Now

Well, I made it back from Barcelona a little worse for the wear. I am not sure if it is the three hours of sleep a night I got, the staying out until three AM most nights or the lady next to me on the plane that looked like she was on death’s door, but I am sure that one of those things led to me feeling like crap the last two days. I have done little but sleep and eat soup since returning. Well, I did order a pizza on Friday night when I got home (at four AM Barcelona time). Might have been a bad idea as I was already starting to feel bad, but I had little choice as there was nothing in my house to eat.

I like Barcelona a lot, although I am not sure what it is like when there isn’t the largest wireless GSM show in the world visiting. Yeah, it was crowded. Restaurants were full and people were always on the streets. You would hear accents from all over the world. The people are friendly and there are small bars open very late. My Spanish was better at the end, but I think the only way I will ever really get it is to live in Spain. Hey, there’s an idea.

I don’t want to go into to many details, but I am getting very close to a move abroad. No, not a move on a broad…a move abroad. I think I will be in Europe before summer.

BTW - Let me tell you the one thing you never want to hear as your plane is landing at Dulles.

“Your luggage can be claimed at carousel 4. However, your luggage will be a delayed due to the weather.”

Delayed in Dulles? That isn’t good as Dulles is quite possibly the slowest airport in the country, maybe the world, at getting you your luggage. On a good day, the wait is 45 minutes. I had to wait almost two hours. And making people wait two hours for luggage after twelve hours of travel is just cruel. Even if they are traveling in Business Class.

I am home this week and then gone again for nine days or so. I am going to NYC, then Seattle and rounding out my trip to Arizona. NYC for the weekend…I am a buddy’s wingman for the weekend. Work in Seattle and then the weekend visiting another buddy in Arizona. Man, my life is pretty good.

For those of you that know the address, I posted some pictures of Barcelona on MySpace. I also put some new pictures of Nick on there. Father’s prerogative.

Happy Birthday Nick

My son turned 21 this week. Yep, I am that old. Actually not really, I just started way too young. It was nice, because I was actually in Seattle this week for his birthday. We went out for a great dinner and hit a few bars on the way home. Home? Well back to my hotel at least. I have been on the road so much lately that a hotel seems like home to me.

I am going home for the weekend and by home I mean the Bay Area. Visiting some friends and family. My problem is that the weekend is going to be really busy as well. You know how it is when you go a visiting. So I might need to sleep thru Tuesday when I get back to DC next week.

Someone reminded me today of a guy I knew in boot camp oh so many years ago. Really she reminded me of something he used to say all the time. I think it is funny the things we remember over the years. I can’t tell you this guy’s name, but I never seem to forget his quote.

“I made you what you are today and what you will be tomorrow. I am the trendsetter.”

“Living in Seattle doesn’t make you cool.”

I took Nick for his first real steak house meal this week. I mean, it isn’t the first time he has had steak, I just think it was the first time he had a $50.00 steak. A $50.00 steak that comes ala carte. He was a little shocked by that, as I was the first time I ate in one of those places. Many people think that $50.00 is to much to pay for a steak. I say you are not paying for the steak. You are paying to be treated like you are the only person on the planet that matters. Even though Nick was dressed in his usual second hand clothes and unshaven, he can pull off that look pretty well, we were treated like we were the Mayor of Seattle. OK and it was a really good steak.

We ate at Morton’s, not my personal favorite steak house, but still a pretty good place. You will never have bad service at a Morton’s, that is for sure. Our waiter was very good and really quite funny. The food was fantastic, as it usually is at Morton’s. The asparagus is always cooked just right. I didn’t drink much, a glass of red with my steak of course, as I was still recovering from my “date” the night before. More about that some other time. I think overall it was a good experience for him. I didn’t get to eat in my first real fancy steak place until I was 27 or so. Not sure why, but I never really had a $50.00 steak until I was older. He seemed to enjoy it and take in the atmosphere. We had soufflé for dessert. Another first for Nick.

I feel pretty lucky that my 20 year old son still thinks it is pretty cool to hang out with his dad. He never seems embarrassed to be around me. I think that is a real testament to his maturity as he has never acted his age, not even when he was two. He seems keenly aware of his surroundings and does not put up with the façade that most people put up. He is one of the most down to earth people I think I know and that is amazing for a 20 year old. He is not about pretense and he doesn’t care what is cool. He is his own man and lives the life we should all strive to live.

Needless to say, I am proud of him and I am looking forward to our trip together later this year.

We also came up with a new t-shirt which I would love to get made. “Living in Seattle doesn’t make you cool.” Nick seems to feel that the youth in Seattle just automatically think they are cool. They think since Seattle was the coolest place on the Earth in the early nineties, that they are now cool by default. I am afraid it doesn’t work that way, so you young Seattleites, get over yourself. Kurt Cobain was cool. Eddie Vedder was cool. Chris Cornell was cool. You are just young punks who need to practice better personal hygiene.

We'll Sell Millions